A Spoon Full of Sugar or Xanex Works too.

This life thing throws curve balls every now and then and I'm not really that great when I'm up at bat, I'm more of a left fielder.  Let's be honest I suck at pretty much any sport and sometimes it feels like I suck at life too.  Today happens to be one of those days I want to crawl into a hole and hibernate for the duration.  Unfortunately humans don't hibernate and that really isn't the answer anyway.  I don't want to sound pathetic and bitter, I know this will wear off sooner rather than later.  I can't really figure out what brought on the funk other than a bad dream and that mystical thing referred to as PMS (which in my opinion stands for Pretty Much Sucks).  
I think I could take a quote from the good ol' Chairman of the Board when he says: 

That's life, that's what all the people say.
You're riding high in April,
Shot down in May
But I know I'm gonna change that tune,
When I'm back on top, back on top in June.

I said that's life, and as funny as it may seem
Some people get their kicks,
Stompin' on a dream
But I don't let it, let it get me down,
'Cause this fine ol' world it keeps spinning around



Thanks Frank those are wise words.

Gratitude and other things

It's been a while since I wrote anything of substance on here so what better day to reflect on the past year and ponder on what I have to be grateful for than Thanksgiving.
What a year.  I could leave it at that and let everyone make their own assumptions on what that means but I'll save you all the time and fill you in a bit.   
I got a new job at Western Governors University in June when I wasn't even looking for one and it's turned out to be a great blessing.  I like who I work with and my pay increased and come January I'll have the opportunity to start in their MBA program, because I'm an employee I'll receive a 75% reduction in tuition.  WGU is a non-profit  online university that extends the reach of higher learning to rural areas and other under served populations.  Check it out at WGU.edu.  Anywho, I like my job and at some point, hopefully sooner rather than later, I'll have the opportunity for advancement.      
I'm still living with the parents and working on an exit plan for sometime in 2011.  I love them and am grateful for the place to live but I want to be on my own again, well not completely on my own I have Bunsen.  I came close to buying a home in West Jordan but I pulled the plug when the lending company had me jumping through hoops and bending over backwards to prove that I'm a responsible adult.  That gave me time to think about all the repairs that needed to be done and realize I'm only one person and it would cost too much time and money to make it livable.  So I'm in the process of looking and waiting for the perfect property that calls out to me.  
It's been a little more than a year and a half since my divorce and I've finally come to the place where I have peace in my heart and mind about the whole mess.  I look back on the marriage now and know that I learned a lot about myself and relationships.  Most importantly I've learned that I'm enough.  Just me.  What a concept.  I'm enough just the way I am.  No man necessary.  I've learned that I don't need to compromise on what's important to me.  There's a reason those things are important.  
I'm not angry anymore about what happened.  I had the chance to do some soul searching and I'm rebuilding my life one brick at a time.  I'm happy and the best is yet to come.  
This year I've also had the chance to grow closer to my sister Leslie.  She's figuring out her life as a single mom and learning as she goes.  I admire her for her faith and dedication.  It's never easy when life throws you a curve ball that knocks you on your ass while you're trying to swing at it.  I know she'll come out of this with a stronger faith and determination to be the example her kiddos need her to be.  LOVE YOU LES!    
So that's my life for the most part.  I'm happy and I'm glad I can say that.  I think that's what I'm most grateful for, well that and my family that helped me to get there.  I'm blessed with amazing sisters in Kirsten and Leslie and wonderful nieces and nephews that remind me that life is simple and happiness can be found in a pipe cleaner or a silly band. I guess my parents have a bit to do with it too :) . They have been beyond patient with me and their unconditional love is a model I look to someday be able to emulate.  
There was a couple in my parents ward that has shown me what selflessness in a marriage looks like and reminded me at a time when I needed reminding that love is out there and everyone deserves a soul mate.  He served his wife whose sight and faculties had left her.  He held her hand reassured her when she didn't know where she was.  He fed and clothed her.  He did everything for his sweetheart Mrs. Pretty.  And though who she had been years ago had vanished through the dense fog of dementia his love and dedication to her was as constant at the sun, moon and stars.  His sweetheart passed away a few weeks ago but their love goes on and will forever.  Everyone who knew them is blessed by seeing their example of Christlike love and service.  I want to have that and because of them and my grandparents and parents I know it's possible.  
Don't forget to remember to love life.  There's always something to be grateful for.  Even in the midst of utter crap think about how it's fertilizing you and at some point after all the stink of it wears off you'll come out stronger healthier and more beautiful.  Allow the master to refine.  I love my family, I love my friends, I love my Savior.  Happy Thanksgiving all!
     

Ich kan Euch nicht leiden!

I don't suffer fools gladly. That's all.

To catch ya up...

So I went to Berlin in November for 2 weeks to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin wall.... Ya it's been 20 years already. The celebration was great and the crowd was huge. Unfortunately the weather left much to be desired. It rained the whole time but it was great to see the world leaders that were there. Among them were Mickael Gorbechev, that French Dude Sarkose, Angela Merkel, Hillary Clinton (I'm using the term world leader loosely as you can see). It was also a treat to hear Placido Domingo sing "Berliner Luft" and Bon Jovi rock out to "We weren't born to follow".
The city has changed so much since I was last there (pictures to added soon). I just love that city! I was able to visit with dear friends and renew contacts and have a few scoops of the famous Florida Eis. It was soooo worth the calories!
Well that's it for now I'll add more tomorrow.
xoxo

What you've all been waiting for........

I got a job offer at the University of Utah Orthopedic Center. It's pending a background check and drug test but they want me to start on Monday the 14th. It's part time (30 hours a week) but still benefited so I get to stop paying $300 a month on crappy Cobra insurance. Hopefully there will be an opportunity to go full time in the future.

Seriously, no really, Seriously?!!!

Sometimes I think my lif is really a comedy of errors. I joined e-Harmony a while back to try and get back into the dating thing. I don't really know how to meet people since I'm in a family ward and I tend to lead the lifestyle of a hermit right now. So e-Harmony does the matching for you. They pride themselfs on matching people who are "compatible on a deeper level". So I've gotten some matches that look like trolls or who are hunting and fishing freaks (anyone who knows me well enough would know that's not my thing) so I've not bothered to communicate with those ones. But I would have to say that the best worst match that I've received so far was one I got today. Wait for it. Wait for it...... It was my ex-husband. Ya we were mached on a deeper level. B.S. He said on his profile that he never drinks. Well unless he's changed his ways (which I doubt, this leopard could never change his spots) that is a total lie. He also says that the first thing people notice about him is his personality. I had to laugh out loud to this one. All of my friends that met him only noticed his lack of personality, that and how disrespectful he was to me. That brings me to the next lie he told. He said that another thing he wanted people to know was that he likes to be friends with everyone, well everyone but the person he's currently involved with. That person he'll just ignore and decide to be best friends with another woman. Oh and his profile picture is a picture of our first Christmas together with me cropped out of it.

Really, I do see the humor in all of this but when will it stop?!

My upcoming trip

I am SOOOOOO freaking excited. I just bought my ticket to Berlin. I have been planning for a wile that I have to be there for the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall since I was there for the 10th. I was able to save enough money thanks to the meagre 401k that I had from my last job to get my tickets on Tuesday. I also got exit rows for all but one leg of the trip. It looks like every thing's coming up roses for me from now on :) . That's the spirit right!? Seriously though, I love to travel and I love my friends in Berlin and it's been 6 years since I've seen them and I can barely contain my excitement. I had a dream about running to the terminal gates last night. I figure I'll be having those dreams until I leave for the trip. I'll also be celebrating my birthday there since I'll be getting in on the 2nd and my 32nd is on the 3rd. I can't think of a better way to spend my birthday after the year I've had so far. Don't get me wrong, my family has been a huge support with everything and I thank them for it, but this gives me something really positive to look forward to.

For those of you who are keeping track, I did have an interview yesterday and I think it went well. The lady said she would be in touch next week so everyone keep their fingers crossed!