Seriously, no really, Seriously?!!!

Sometimes I think my lif is really a comedy of errors. I joined e-Harmony a while back to try and get back into the dating thing. I don't really know how to meet people since I'm in a family ward and I tend to lead the lifestyle of a hermit right now. So e-Harmony does the matching for you. They pride themselfs on matching people who are "compatible on a deeper level". So I've gotten some matches that look like trolls or who are hunting and fishing freaks (anyone who knows me well enough would know that's not my thing) so I've not bothered to communicate with those ones. But I would have to say that the best worst match that I've received so far was one I got today. Wait for it. Wait for it...... It was my ex-husband. Ya we were mached on a deeper level. B.S. He said on his profile that he never drinks. Well unless he's changed his ways (which I doubt, this leopard could never change his spots) that is a total lie. He also says that the first thing people notice about him is his personality. I had to laugh out loud to this one. All of my friends that met him only noticed his lack of personality, that and how disrespectful he was to me. That brings me to the next lie he told. He said that another thing he wanted people to know was that he likes to be friends with everyone, well everyone but the person he's currently involved with. That person he'll just ignore and decide to be best friends with another woman. Oh and his profile picture is a picture of our first Christmas together with me cropped out of it.

Really, I do see the humor in all of this but when will it stop?!

My upcoming trip

I am SOOOOOO freaking excited. I just bought my ticket to Berlin. I have been planning for a wile that I have to be there for the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall since I was there for the 10th. I was able to save enough money thanks to the meagre 401k that I had from my last job to get my tickets on Tuesday. I also got exit rows for all but one leg of the trip. It looks like every thing's coming up roses for me from now on :) . That's the spirit right!? Seriously though, I love to travel and I love my friends in Berlin and it's been 6 years since I've seen them and I can barely contain my excitement. I had a dream about running to the terminal gates last night. I figure I'll be having those dreams until I leave for the trip. I'll also be celebrating my birthday there since I'll be getting in on the 2nd and my 32nd is on the 3rd. I can't think of a better way to spend my birthday after the year I've had so far. Don't get me wrong, my family has been a huge support with everything and I thank them for it, but this gives me something really positive to look forward to.

For those of you who are keeping track, I did have an interview yesterday and I think it went well. The lady said she would be in touch next week so everyone keep their fingers crossed!

You know that feeling?

You know that feeling when people tell you that there's something better to come? You even believe it yourself and hope for a brighter day sometime sooner rather than later. Well that's me now. I've literally applied for over 300 jobs and I got bubkis. I'm trying to keep from getting discouraged. I keep thinking I haven't knocked down the right door yet, I'm also thinking that the Reserves are looking better and better now. I'll avoid that as long as I can. Who knows, maybe Obama will pay for me to get my Masters degree?

On a side note, when I get my Masters I will make people call me Master Kammie just for kicks.

So in the mean time I'm getting in touch with my feelings by blogging (in case anyone is keeping track, I have feelings -- Oh boy!). So one of my favorite people in the world gave a talk on hope in one of the last General Confrences. In the talk Dieter Uchtdorf said "Never give in. Never surrender. Never allow despair to overcome your spirit! I'm making that my personal mantra.

This is my personal take on that. I'm nowhere nearly as qualified to speak on the subject as he is but here goes anyway:

My spirit was created by and in the image of God. I am his daughter. I am heir to all the father has. In God and through Christ I find infinite HOPE. My spirit is devine. To despair is to give in. It is to deny me of my inherent nobility, my birthright. To despair would allow the fallen one, even Satan to rob me of my light. To give in is to surrender my spirit and body to the temptations of the devil. I am a daughter of God. I acknoledge him as my father and Christ as my older brother and redeemer. By and through them worlds were created. By and through them I was created to become as they are. Remember this above all! I am of infinite worth.
So hang in there!

Arg, Grrr, Humpf, etc.

What people say to me:

How I feel:

Sister Social

I had a great time last night hanging out with old mission friends. I can't believe 9 years has gone by since I got home. I was so good to see everyone with their adorable kids and to hear what they are doing with their lives right now. Thank you so much Emma for putting everything together. It showed that you put a lot of work and thought into it. Fun was had by all!

Blah, blah, blah

To err is human, to forgive is divine.

I'm not yet known as the divine Miss Kam but I'm working on it.

On a lighter note

I got this email from a friend a while ago. I'm sure some of you have seen it. Well I had my own response. Hope you get a laugh.

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate.

DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 ;program.These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7..

-

Worst case scenario from user of Husband 1.0: How I uninstalled

Nagging 5.3 corrupted the hard drive causing considerable shrinkage of memory to the point of non-functioning (if you know what I mean). Lingerie 7.7 and 3.0 failed miserably due to the Mother-in-law virus that was encrypted upon production of my particular model of Husband 1.0

When tech support was called they suggested we experiment with beta software Counseling 0.8. Upon trial of that program all memory shut down and the system lost power. Rebooting attempted several times by fiddling with the main drivers but to no avail. Upon observation that this particular version of Husband 1.0 was useless I sent it back to the factory demanding a refund.

None too pleased!

So I got a letter in the mail the other day saying that Experian sent some information to one of my credit card holders and they decided to close my account because

• The total available credit on satisfactory bankards it too low


• Balance on one or more bankcards is currently over the credit limit


• Bankcard balance grew too fast compared to credit limit and time on file

This is freakin' rediculous. None of this is true. I unlike my screw-ball lazy ex take care of my credit and make all of my payments on time. This so doesn't apply to any of the accounts I agreed to take over in the divorce. What the CRAP! So I get the shaft in the divorce and now the numb nuts is ruining my credit.

All this after finding him hiding behind a door in another womans house when her husband wasn't home on the same day of my aunts funeral when I could use some consoling from him he's over at some dirty things house doing God know's what. Seriously, I mean Seriously?! So I smacked him, hey he even said he deserved it. My only regret is that I didn't do it closed fisted. He also text messaged this tramp over 250 times in the course of 5 days most of them in the middle of the night when he told me he couldn't sleep and the rest of them when they were at work together. That tells me one thing and that is that they were saying things that couldn't be said out loud in front of their co-workers.

And who in their right mind takes someone elses wife to a bar when they're both still married. Does anyone else but me think this is totally inappropriate?! They ended up showing up together at the same piano bar that I was at to blow some steam off with some of my girlfriends. Their sad excuse is that she had a fight with her husband at a restaraunt downtown and she called the only person she knew who could pick her up... not her home teacher, not the releif society president, not her visiting teaching partner but my loser husband after the bishop had advised them both to stay away from eachother. Well good thing she and her husband "worked things out" now that she's pregnant. Can you say "Paternity Test"!

I was going to let this go without mention but I think it's worth it. I mean how juicy is that?! These people are sick.

Let me make one thing perfecty clear. I am not trying to make friends with any of my ex's family with this blog! It's better off if none of you read it because at this point in time I have nothing nice to say about any of you!

I keep thinking Blunder (the name has been changed to protect the guilty) will pull his head out and do what is right and what he has told me he would do, but no go. I should have caught on that he wasn't a man of his word. Hell he's barely a man. I know this is the ranting of an angry woman but I think I sure as hell have the right to be.

I tell you forgiveness is hard. Every time I think I'm making a move in the right direction, something else happens that fires me up. At some point in time I will be able to rise above this and see why having to start over again at 31 is a blessing but right now I'm not seeing it. But I keep going.

I know I'll probably have to repent for posting this and it's probably only going to be featured for a limited amount of time before my consience gets to me (see Blunder some of us have them) and I pull it down but for now I'm letting the unbridaled rage speak.

The thing that really burns me in all of this is all the lies. I'm a pretty honest person even when people don't want to hear it. And the fact that he lied to me for about 6 months about loving me just chaps my hide. At least cut me loose so I can find a better man. He wasted my time and ruined my credit in the process. I still would have been hurt had he done it earlier but I wouldn't have ended up being the primary signer on his brand new car and I wouldn't have ended up with the debt from his $2300 road bike that I put on my credit card that I'm still paying on that he gets to keep. He thought he was doing me a favor by "trying to make it to two years". From my end it only looks like he was doing himself the favors by making sure he had everything he wanted before he ditched me. Oh well it should be punishment enough just being him.

Oi!

So what a week of waiting! I've interviewed with the U for an administrative job 3 times and I'm just waiting to hear back from them. It's nerve wracking! I'm continuing to persevere on the job hunt. I am getting very tired of having people ask how the job hunt is going. I should start telling them "Well yesterday I caught a pheasant and I'm lookin' to get a boar today". I know people are asking out of concern but I swear when I get a job I will post it on my Facebook, my blog, and I will get up and bare my testimony about it and I think that will cover all the bases.

Anywhooo. On another note, Bunsen got another summer haircut and he looks so stinkin' cute. I think it helps him from getting so hot. It's fun to see how much my dad has taken to him. He talks to him all the time and he even lets him sit next to him on the couch. But my favorite is when my dad throws h im cold cuts and gets so amused when Bunsen catches them in mid air. He's getting pretty good at it. A neighbor came by earlier this week and tried to teach him how to shake hands (Bunsen not my dad). It was cute. He's kind of got the idea but I think mostly he just want's to lick the person's hand. I think I got the best thing out of my short lived marriage (if you can call it that) when I got my sweet dog. He's good at keeping my feet warm. I used to not like dogs but when I got him I fell in love. He is the best and has such a sweet disposition! And no He's not spoiled!