It was Stephen Colbert's "Americone Dream" and it was delicious!
Anyone who has been divorced will tell you that you will have your good days and your bad ones. Today wasn't necessarily bad I just needed ice cream in a bad way. I guess it was comfort eating. Not being employed gives me a lot to think about. I've thought about going back to school, I've thought about joining the Air Force, I've thought about becoming an exotic dancer (not really I haven't taken the pole dancing class yet), but mostly I've thought about how my marriage began and how it ended.
It all happened very fast. We met, fell in love and were married 4 months later. I know, crazy fast but when you're in love even 4 months feels like forever.
Soon after we were married we discovered the matrimonial road was a bumpy one. He discovered I had a temper and I discovered he was emotionally retarded (to say the least). I was also guilty of not being the best house keeper and the occasional reminding (he called it nagging), and I didn't cook gourmet meals 3 times a day like his mom. It's a tough expectation to live up to when his mummy was pampering him his entire life So we had some rough patches. I kept hearing from people that the first year was the hardest so I thought that after the 12 months things would get better and we would understand each other perfectly. After 13 months we decided to go to counseling because he felt I was angry and violent.
I did some research on counselors and because I didn't think he would be willing to fit counseling into the budget we went to trainee counselors who weren't yet certified or even married. Regardless of that I shared and I shared and I shared. I don't have any problems at all talking about how I feel. But I do have a problem when I know something is wrong and my spouse won't open up to me. I was an open book and he was a vault. That combination can never work.
One of my hurtles in the marriage was that I didn't think I was a priority in my husband's life. He seemed to put everyone before me, his brother, his sister, his work, his reading materials, his TV shows, his hobbies and even another woman he claimed was his "best friend". He told me I was just insecure and needy. Call me crazy, many already have, but I didn't think asking my husband to go on a walk with me every now and again or giving me a card on my birthday, for V Day or anniversary's was too much to ask. Apparently it was. I'm too demanding. I was also too puffy, he wasn't attracted to me anymore. There's more to that but it's rated R.
I tried everything I thought I could do but I just couldn't get through to him. We couldn't get through to each other. I came to find out that he had been holding grudged against me. For me some of the stupid things he did just became endearing. But everything I did that was remotely unacceptable to him was a strike against me. In the end we went our nine innings and he threw a perfect game and I struck out.
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